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Joke of the Day

"[moments after time traveling to 1863] LINCOLN: four score & seven years ago ME: [behind a tree] JUST SAY IT NORMAL"

"Rape Baby A guy goes to job interview. His employer asks how his parents met. He says he is a rape baby. The boss asks if he mom is Christen. The guy asks how do you know?"

"I couldn't figure out what happens when you mix water and salt... But then I found the solution."

"You hear about the blind guy on Wheel of Fortune? He asked if he could buy an I."

"Be Careful of Egyptian Sharks They can smell blood a nile away"

"What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack."

"*cop pulls me over* Cop:Had a bit to drink tonight? Me:What makes you think I've been drinking? *cop leans over and turns off lawnmower*"

"The Mafia hired me to clean recently I was a maid man"

"Sexxist much? Q: how do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow? A: give her a shovel."

"Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable"