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Joke of the Day
"How does Santa Claus take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid."
Next Joke
"Technically When is a computer like a blonde? When it goes down on you as soon as you turn it on."
"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."
"Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope. That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."
"What did the rapper ask the pet sitter when he got back from vacation? Where my dogs at?"
"I fart like an Egyptian pharoah... We have a toot in common."
"Donald Trump is sponsoring a new breakfast side dish. Dic-tater tots."
"I flipped off a latino guy who cut me off in traffic and now I'm polling at 8% in the Republican primary."
"I was in chemistry class today.... ...Man it was Bohring"
"Why don't more people cook Armenian food? Because it can be very thyme-consuming."