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Joke of the Day

"I flipped off a latino guy who cut me off in traffic and now I'm polling at 8% in the Republican primary."

"What position does the pig play in football? Loinback."

"Watching WWII documentaries, it's always so heart wrenching when Poland is invaded and London is bombed by the Alt-Right."

"What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet? V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U."

"[me as a poltergeist] *putting forks in the spoon section of the cutlery drawer* ooooOooOooooo"

"Last time I got some ass My finger went through the toilet paper"

"What does an engineer use for birth control? Their personality."

"What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup."

"I tried to take up juggling... But I just didn't have the balls... I'm not even sorry"

"What are some of the perks of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag's a big plus."