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Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: On a bad dinner date? Bite your tongue until your mouth fills with blood, say ""I must be allergic to this bread"" and then leave."

"Sexual Pun Joke for Guitarists She wants the D...major. So I picked her up in a barre. Fingering was much easier that way. And yeah, the fingering was easier, but there's always strings attached."

"What's the difference between a Feminist and a suicide jacket? Suicide jacket does something when it's triggered."

"I went to an art contest recently... It ended in a draw."

"The shepherd woke up one afternoon... ""Oh no! I fell asleep! I hope nobody stole my sheep. Let's see 1, 2, *Zzzzzz*"""

"Making light humour Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model? The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly."

"I used to know a real good joke about the Jonestown Massacre... Man, it was a good one too. The punchline was killer."

"Too ugly for the people I want. Too hot for the people who want me."

"There is nothing worse that realizing the vacation you planned is going to be the same week as her period."

"What is the difference between a pizza and a black guy? A pizza can feed a family of four!"