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Joke of the Day

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot I only exist when you need something!"

"What's green and eats nuts... Syphilis."

"Hey Terminator, who are you dressing up as for the musical fancy dress? I'll be Bach"

"It's not Wingardium Leviosa It's Wingardium Leviosah-Dude"

"OK then - how 'bout this Roof joke? What's the new term for ""almost completely racist""? 180 Roof"

"Whenever someone says, ""that's what she said"", I like to reply with, ""not to you"""

"If an atheist vegan does crossfit... Which one do they talk about first?"

"Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them."

"Snack mixes are great because I only want to enjoy 40 percent of what I eat."

"I asked Siri "" surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow"" and he replied "" yes it is, and don't call me Shirley""...turns out I left airplane mode on"