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Joke of the Day
"Snack mixes are great because I only want to enjoy 40 percent of what I eat."
Next Joke
"9 year old told me this today. My favorite exercise is a mix between a crunch and a lunge... It's called lunch. Dad, I'm hungry."
"What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad? That's methed-up!"
"date: so wat do u wana do next me: why dont we slip into somthing more...convertible [climbs into ferrari] date: omg wow is this ur car me: no"
"""Good to sea you"" is a hilarious thing to say when shoving someone off a cruise ship."
"There's a great new website that helps you find the local church that is right for you They call it, Evangielist."
"What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette? Tobaccio"
"If you don't know what a prefix is, don't worry. It's not the end of the word."
"Everyone is misunderstanding me... I just don't know why. I keep telling them I got an East Infection. (better said verbally)"
"Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V"