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Joke of the Day

"Snack mixes are great because I only want to enjoy 40 percent of what I eat."

"I met this amazing girl while speed dating. We stayed up all night and day just talking and giggling and I guess speed will do that to you."

"Remember when you were small & all you wanted was a pony but your parents were high on meth & thought the house was already full of ponies?"

"I would say go with the bigger penis But I really want Trump to win"

"Her: I love that thing you do to make me moan. Me: *makes another plate of nachos*"

"How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack? He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!"

"Two redditors pass in an essay after the deadline - we took too long to make this page for you - try again and hopefully we will be fast enough this time"

"Yeah, conservatives. I will marry a dog. I'll marry 12 dogs. I'm a dog mormon now."

"I love math but you know what I find odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by two."

"Where there's a will... There's a relative."