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Joke of the Day

"The way I pronounced ""prix fixe"" should be enough for you to figure out that I can't afford to eat here."

"My pick-up line used to be ""Hey babe, I'm a hotspot. Wanna log-on""? doesn't work anymore, now they just yell at me ""fuck off you homeless begger""."

"What's the cheapest concert you can go to? 50 cent feat. Nickelback."

"I found my first grey pubic hair today. I can accept getting old, but it was in my Big Mac."

"Good times + Crazy friends = Amazing memories. "

"[he picks me up on 1st date] Him: What do you have there? Me: [struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down] Ham."

"When my wife tells me to jump I have only one question... Why aren't you in the kitchen?"

"Men, of course we need you. Because, jars."

"Why yes, I do live under a rock. It's called the moon."

"""The past tense of LOL is not LOL'd, it's L'dOL."" - How I like to end a date with 18-25 year old girls."