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Joke of the Day

"Being a mom means being the first one up in the morning, the last one to bed at night, and the only one drinking during church."

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"Octopus How does an octopus make you laugh? With ten-tickles"
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"A termite walks into a bar And asks ,"" Is the bar tender here?"
"Me: How are you doing? Is our date starting to feel a bit awkward? Her: Yeah, a little... Me: I was talking to my mom! Mom: No, I'm fine."
"If Kevin Bacon is ever caught outside during a blizzard, it'd be pretty awesome if when he was found his core temperature was six degrees."
"[1st date] HER: I love the idea of marriage. What are your thoughts on it? ME: [trying to impress her] I have 6 wives"
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"Winning a fight with your gf is like winning a vacation to Detroit. Don't get too excited"