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Joke of the Day

"The real reason women will never be the ones to propose... As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants."

"Girl, you're just like hell... because I'd kill to enter you."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck"

"PLOT TWIST: MARIJUANA is the drug against wars."

"Me: Mozart was a great composer, but now that he's dead he's a great Wife: I swear to God I'll divorce you Me: *through tears* Decomposer."

"What is E.T short for? Because he has little legs."

"""The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one, be one!"""

"Think bobcats prefer to be called robertcats?"

"Not saying I'm desperate enough for a mail order bride, but did just check to see how much FedEx charges for 125 pounds from Krasnoyarsk."

"Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently"