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Joke of the Day

"I just came up with a great joke about blowjobs. I'd share it, but I'm afraid it'd be in poor taste."

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"Point of etiquette: When attending a chainsaw massacre, don't spend the entire time chainsawing one person. Get out there and mangle."
"I like my women like I like my friends Exploitable"
"Me: *disappears for a few weeks* Friends: *No concern* Me: *Posts inspirational quote on FB* Friends: Dude, you okay? You need to talk?"
"A man goes to the pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks: Do you need a bag? He answers: She isn't that ugly!"
"An app to tase restaurant owners who call appetizers ""apps"""
"Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window"
"What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter."
"To hell with syncing the Titanic... I named my iPhone ""ass"" so I could back that ass up."
"You're like a dream. Not there when I wake up."
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