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Joke of the Day

"A man recently felt funny and came over queasy... At which point he was asked to leave the local amateur production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"[Elephant at a party] Nice piano! [me] thanks [Elephant] What are the keys made of? [Me] Uhh.. [Rhino appears behind me] Tell him Kyle"

"If you're not supposed to drink shampoo why do they make it in such pretty colors?"

"I'm old enough to remember being the tv remote."

"The emailer who threatened LA schools claims to be ""a Muslim extremist."" That's like a student signing his report card ""Timmy's Dad."""

"When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice"

"I hate when someone steals my idea before I've had it."

"Did you hear about the surgeon that got sacked for having sex with his patients? It's a shame really. He was a damn good vet."

"What's the reason my shower isn't working? You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure."

"I accidentally used AOL.com to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future."