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Joke of the Day

"When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice"

"Wife just changed her Facebook status to ""It's complicated."" Better go see what she wants."

"Never trust a woman who doesn't b*tch about everything."

"[OC[ what do u call a fireman with aids (first porst)) i am 9 yrs old btw UR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!222222"

"My DR sent me a text. I read; ""What blod type are you?"" I replied ""Typo""."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? You take the 'S' out of Safe, and the 'F' out of Way."

"Why does my wife think its weird I talk to a bunch of strangers on the Internet, but it's ok for her to talk to multiple cats."

"Today I'm cancer free! And all the days before that, but it still counts."

"When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard"

"What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison"