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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally used AOL.com to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future."

"Why was the lesbian mermaid fired from the bakery? She was eating all the muff-fins."

"What does a boy get every month, but a girl doesn't. A paycheck"

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke holes that it's often poked before? A key."

"Shipwreck diary, Day 32,567: So, turns out I'm immortal."

"Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her, and make her the most important thing in your life."

"Hey are you free this weekend? (Gazes into distance) (Wipes tear from cheek) (Bald Eagle screeches) ""I'm always free"""

"You're like that person playing Pictionary who draws something terribly and just keeps circling it."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adder ! Adder who ? Adder you get in here ?"

"Motivating words are harder with autocorrect... - Archive your dreams. - Be excrement to each other. - Nottingham is impossible. - The only thing standing in your way is autocorrect."