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Joke of the Day
"If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache."
Next Joke
"Musical Contradiction Piano is my forte."
"When someone at work asks you what you're doing this weekend, just pull a lettuce leaf out of your pocket and slowly start licking it."
"What 8 letter phrase means a healthy scratch? Tim Tebow"
"If your partner asks, ""Do you love your phone more than you love me?"" Lie."
"Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher? couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled..."
"Houseguests should have a mandatory bedtime."
"Just farted and it sounded like Louis Armstrong saying the word ""blueberry"" with his mouth full."
"Don't sleep with politicians. They all have aides."
"I talk a lot of shit for someone who won't sleep with her feet out from under the covers because of the monsters under the bed."