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Joke of the Day

"When someone at work asks you what you're doing this weekend, just pull a lettuce leaf out of your pocket and slowly start licking it."

"""HEY ATHLETES WITHOUT MONEY FOR TRAINING FACILITIES OR PROPER UNIFORMS, Y U NO WIN GOLD MEDALS?"" - Indians"

"What did the Peruvian defense lawyer say to the Peruvian prosecutor? Peruve it!"

"Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer"

"What do you call a black person from Niger? A Nigerian, you racist"

"What do more than half the U.S. population consider a gay marriage? Still not recognizable"

"I got a job as a stand up with a comic sans resume, but i lost my CV Now im a comic sans resume"

"Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament? Because they lost their 2 best shooters"

"Dating tip: Don't offer to pay. It's a sign of weakness. Build trust through mutual agreement to steal. No one suspects the ""happy couple."""

"I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out ""stop it"" every 30 min"