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Joke of the Day

"Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher? couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled..."

"What do you call a round knight? Sir Cumference"

"When Sarah Jessica Parker got married She must have had one hell of a bridle shower."

"I used to date a dysexic woman... ... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."

"Does anyone get the urge to tweet something really bad just to see if the government is really paying attention to you?"

"Why was the baker happy when his pie caught fire in the oven? He was a pieromaniac."

"How many Toronto Maple Leaf fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Nobody knows. They always say they'll do it next year."

"On the upside, Oscar Pistorus has had his paralympic classification promoted... ...he's gone from T43 (double below knee amputee) all the way up to T800 (The Terminator)."

"Why did the fox cross the road? It was chassing after the chicken!"

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."