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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the gay couple who were perfect for each other? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"A Jewish boy walks up to his dad... A Jewish boy walks up to his dad and says ""hey dad! Can I borrow fifty dollars? His dad says ""forty dollars?! What do you need thirty dollars for?!"""

"Whats the last thing that goes thru a bug's mind when it hits the windshield? Its ass."

"What do they say when you leave an abortion clinic in Germany? Al-fetus-zane"

"Why can't you run through a campground? You need to RAN through a campground because it's past tents."

"[team tryouts] Coach: You really knocked that one out of the park. Jimmy: Thanks Coach! Coach: This is tennis."

"*attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever"

"What's the difference between a gay and a microwave.... You can't brown a sausage in a microwave"

"Can't wait for it to get dark earlier so I can pick my nose in traffic."

"a thing I like about Nintendo is it's often possible to enjoy one of their games in its entirety without murdering anybody"