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Joke of the Day

"*attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever"

"Why should rednecks NOT vote for Trump? Because Trump wants to build a wall, and a wall is what killed Dale Earnhardt."

"I think deja vu is bullshit and this isn't the first time I've thought that."

"You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem"

"Blessed are those who are cracked, for they are the ones who let in the light!"

"Which administrative ghost is responsible for auditing all of the incoming/outgoing hauntings? The boo-keeper."

"I got security cameras fitted outside my house. Just to convince people that I have stuff worth stealing."

"It's late and I'm wondering what my high school girlfriend is doing now. I'd call her but I know she has a big algebra test tomorrow."

"I bought a chilli dog and a thumb drive at a gas station... Ya know, for shits and gigs."

"What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish."