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Joke of the Day

"Can't wait for it to get dark earlier so I can pick my nose in traffic."

"What's Darth Vader's Favorite Mineral? co-pper"

"If you're in Los Angeles and lost your wallet near the Starbucks on Melrose I found your wallet but not the $58 inside it."

"What idiot invented fire blankets? You'd think they'd be hot enough from the flames."

"My physicist gf told me she loves me to the moon and back .... I don't know if she was referring to the Distance or Displacement."

"The best part of marriage is when your spouse goes on a diet and you don't have to share your snacks."

"What do David Carradine and the Mets have in common? They both choke when it really matters."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon."

"Did you read that story on r/news? [removed]"