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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about Obama's presidency is knowing Will Smith will play him in the eventual biopic and win an Oscar. Fuck that."

"Excited for the return of Game of Thrones. Not excited for the return of the phrase, ""If you'd read the books, you'd know that..."""

"A construction crew was converting an old road near a chicken coupe back to farmland... Comedians slaughtered the construction crew, and the jokes continued."

"Software boner. Why did the computer need Viagra? Because it had a 3.5 inch floppy disk."

"How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff? Tell them it will ""cleanse toxins."""

"In order to catch herpes, u have to think like a herpes"

"Did you know: the human body is 60% water, 20% hair, 34% rope, 9% tubes, 12% earrings, 99% eyes, 13% jubjubs, 6% dingdongs, 100% crannies"

"My girlfriend told me our safe-word was too easy to forget I said, ""Ok, let's make it 'harder.' """

"There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends."

"How do you insult a Catholic? Any way you like, they have to forgive you!"