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Joke of the Day

"If the cat's got your tongue, it's your fault. What did you expect, making out with a cat?"

"My friend says he has the biggest brain in the world. I think it's all in his head."

"My psychiatrist asked me about how many times a day I exaggerate. I responded, ""Like a billion."""

"I only go to porn sites because I'm addicted to computer viruses."

"What do you call a Quadriplegic in the ocean? Bob. *I'm so sorry*"

"Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy? Because open balls are in his neighborhood"

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face."

"What are swearing outdoor grills powered with? Profane tanks."

"Pretty woman, the kind that don't eat meat Pretty woman, the kind that likes to hug trees Ohoh what can I do? She's making me eat vegan food"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... 1. Those who understand ternary. 2. Those who don't. 10 . Those who expected the binary gag."