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Joke of the Day

"Pretty woman, the kind that don't eat meat Pretty woman, the kind that likes to hug trees Ohoh what can I do? She's making me eat vegan food"

"What is the difference between a blonde and a blonde dude? The blonde has a higher sperm count."

"Question: What is the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub? Answer: One has hope in her soul the other has soap in her hole."

"I haven't slept for ten days... ... Because that would be too long."

"""OMG I'm so wet right now"" - Me after washing a spoon"

"They say marriage is like a three ring circus ... There is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering ..."

"What's the difference between chocolate and a dead hooker? You can feed one to your dog"

"Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him? It was an emergent sea."

"Why did the run on sentence think that it was pregnant? Because its period was late."

"A poem for you I dig... You dig... We dig... He dig... She dig... They dig... ******** It's not a very beautiful poem but it's quite deep"