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Joke of the Day

"Life in 1914-1945 Europe must have been hard. All those geopolitical events and no TV shows to compare them to"

"I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5 It was a pi rated DVD"

"Ahhh.......I love the sounds of autumn; that old familiar crunch of Halloween candy wrappers on the floor."

"A doctor reaches into his pocket and finds his rectal thermometer He says ""Shit, some asshole took my pen!"""

"What do you get when you kill a body of water in a comic book? A Deadpool."

"LESBIANS' FLOORING Q. Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's floor? A. They're all laid with tongue and groove."

"What do you call it when fish stop having babies? Minnow-pause"

"What is the cheapest meat? Deer testicles. They're under a Buck."

"Her: OMG! You didn't feed my cat while I was away? Me: Do you remember that time you didn't harvest my crops on FarmVille? Now we're even."

"If sex is the food of life, then masturbation is a snack in between meals."