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Joke of the Day

"Ahhh.......I love the sounds of autumn; that old familiar crunch of Halloween candy wrappers on the floor."

"If Johnny Cash were alive today. He'd probably just be known as Johnny Credit/Debit."

"I meant to call out a plumber to fix my blocked toilet, but forgot. I'm in deep shit now."

"""You have sexy calves."" -Pedophile bull"

"What's the similarity between Madeline Mccann and a submarine? They are both at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen."

"Why do you look out the window in the morning? Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alaska ! Alaska who ? Alaska my mummy !"

"What kind of CB Radio do seagulls use? Squawky-talkies!"

"I swear to god, the next car that cuts me off will be driving in front of me."

"Researchers found a deep-ocean microbe which could explain transition from simple to complex cells However, it passed away before it even had begun explaining."