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Joke of the Day

"LESBIANS' FLOORING Q. Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's floor? A. They're all laid with tongue and groove."

"Did you know the anthem of the USA is about a Mexican immigrant? The first line is even about how he got in illegally at night: ""Jose can you see, by the dawn's early light..."""

"I remember the first time I had sex... I still have the receipt :')"

"Dad, are ghosts real? Dad: No son, of course not Son: The nanny said they are Dad: Okay, pack your stuff... We don't have a nanny"

"3yo just yelled ""face-five!"" & slapped his brother in the face. I'm totally using that at work tomorrow."

"A businessman comes into work distraught, wearing a bloody suit.NSFW A coworker asks him, ""What happened to your tie?"" He responds, ""I had to kill that whore because she had a freaking dick."""

"My buddy said that he was planning on making homemade bread. I told him to let me know if he kneeds anything."

"Did you hear about the Chinese man who was arrested for sodomizing a 9-year-old? His name was Yung Bu Ti."

"How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well apparently not eight cause my basement is still dark."

"I applied for a loan from the U.S. Government, but was turned down because I had a legitimate repayment plan"