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Joke of the Day

"Reddit, Funnyjunk, and Digg walk into a bar. They all see 4chan and say to the bartender: ""I'll have what he's having."""

"Some of my most meaningful relationships started because I was too lazy to leave the room."

"Ate at w pho restaurant and based on my waitress' facial reaction I'm not sure if I asked for a fork or killed her entire family"

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge: This isn't working, I'm going to my mums house. I opened the fridge door and the light came on and the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?"

"President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to ""learn what it means to work."" May I suggest the same for members of Congress?"

"two guys walk into a bar. The 3rd one ducks"

"I've been asked to take care of the neighbour's cat. They aren't on holiday - they're just really lazy."

"""Who let the dogs out?!"" - Pavlov getting angry"

"Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?"

"What do terrorists eat when its sunny? Choc-ISIS"