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Joke of the Day
"""Who let the dogs out?!"" - Pavlov getting angry"
Next Joke
"WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea"
"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: is this the man who robbed u *holds up picture of himself* ME: yes POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: give me ur wallet ME: dang it"
"What do you call a lad that put on his glasses? Seymour."
"What's the worst part about giving your dad a blowjob? His dick tastes like your brothers asshole! (ba dum tiss)"
"Why did the lemon go sour? Because it had Lemon-Aids"
"What do Native American pubescent hipsters who would like to join a group often say? Clandestine."
"Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed."
"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."
"Sudoku... It's a numbers game."