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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To watch the mason lay a brick."

"Why cant clinton stand straight? Because she is Crooked."

"An atom is mugged by another atom... A bystander asks if he's OK. ""I think he got away with my favorite electron,"" he answered. ""Oh no! Are you sure?"" ""Yup, I'm positive."""

"Apple Watches your money go into their pocket."

"My friend told me to sing Wonderwall I said maybe."

"What do you call a blond that dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence"

"The oldest written recipe is for beer. Even when most people couldn't read or write, they knew they had to mark that shit down somehow."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"All I want is for someone to pretend to love me for who I am, then gradually change me over a period of several years until we both hate me."

"Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals... ...because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the United States."