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Joke of the Day

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"What do you call a bra designed for neutrois? Ze-bra"

"Scientists announced that a man had chilled himself to absolute zero in an industrial accident. He's 0K right now."

"Foreigner? Why not fist her? Badoom TSSSSssT! (Say it out loud)"

"What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common? They both slowly remove clogs. I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original. Thanks for the gold !"

"Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now....."

"Lincoln should win for most likely DVD to be put on by substitute teachers"

"Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he have so many pictures of my parents fighting?"

"Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!"

"Why does Kim Jong Un love books Because he's the glorious Reader"