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Joke of the Day

"After seeing his first ballet at age 6, his parents asked him how he liked it. It was good, but you know all those girls who were on their tippy-toes? Why don't they just get *taller girls?*"

"Watching ""Annie"" all I could think was, ""That redhead kid is going to make a hideous adult."""

"What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster? A purple people eater."

"A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets crabs He calls her out on it, and she replies, ""I was only $10. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"I never eat coins in front of vending machines because I don't want them to fall in love with me."

"American girls A kid asked his Dad if he could have $10 for a guinea pig. His Dad says, ""All I have is $5, why don't you find yourself a nice American girl."""

"If you're looking for a good place to buy a Blackberry, I'd suggest 2006."

"If your dog has weird unsightly nipples, it's OK to throw 3 or 4 little bras on it."

"If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep."

"Turns out the guy I tipped is NOT the men's room attendant & now I really just want to get this BJ over with."