201721

Joke of the Day

"Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he's gonna get to wear it."

"Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week? Because Wednesday is hump day."

"I've just bought a car that parks itself. Oh really? And where it is? I have no fucking idea."

"What do you get when you cross an Elephant with a Rhino? HellifIknow!"

"Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention."

"I got rid of 300 unnecessary lbs after 6 months. The divorce papers are finalized today."

"Why didn't Bungie stick with Halo? Because it wasn't their Destiny."

"If you happen to be a dirt road, expect someone wearing a cowboy hat to write a song about you today."

"What's concurrency? Fake money they use in prisons."

"What do chinese people do when they have an erection? they vote"