201721

Joke of the Day

"Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he's gonna get to wear it."

"If you're such a powerful warlock, why do you have diabetes."

"I have a joke about time travel But you got it the first time. (Best told two or three days after making the recently posted ""I have a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it."")"

"Today at school, my teacher said I needed to stop doing my impression of a Flamingo That's when I had to put my foot down. EDIT: some shit"

"""You like mayonnaise? Prove it."" - Costco"

"One thing that really annoys me is everything."

"What's the difference between racism and the chinese people? Racism has many faces..."

"I hate to admit it but my views on life in the arctic are very polarised."

"I just want to meet a nice girl who hates the same stuff as me."

"I long for the good old days, when all the men wore suits and all the women wore dresses and they put cocaine in soda"