83289

Joke of the Day

"The first thing I'm going to do when I'm rich is buy an airline flight for everyone who works at the DMV and then delay the flight forever."

"Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, ""Please wear."""

"Hey girl, are you made of lead? Because you have a plumbum."

"Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?"

"I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem"

"[drake deepthroating a fully cooked sausage] I'm on my wurst behavior"

"Post natal depression is a serious condition. I'm 38 years old and my mum still bursts into tears every time she sees me."

"Made a small donation to a street comedian for this gem... how do you know your at a gay picnic? The hot dogs taste like shit"

"Have Egyptians tried unplugging and plugging Egypt?"

"Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff? He wanted to try out his new air brakes."