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Joke of the Day

"Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, ""Please wear."""

"I'm sick of having to pick up women's jaws after I walk into rooms."

"Me: I need a raise Secretly-an-Alien Manager: Yes, it is good to, want to exchange labor for the right amount of delicious green rectangles"

"How can you make a moth ball ? Hit it with a fly swatter."

"Why did the knight stop using the internet? Because he was sick of chainmail."

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole? Quatro Sinco"

"Don't describe two completely different things as ""apples and oranges"" they're both fruit Say something like ""elephants and crystal meth"""

"The 1996 film ""Crack"" was directed by whom? Francis Snort Cokealot"

"Q: What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments? A: Luters."

"Good Cop: We want to help you. Just tell us who was with you on the night of August the 15th. Bae Cop: My parents aren't home. Come over."