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Joke of the Day

"I decided to vote for the most presidential and least controversial person I saw on the debate last night... So I'm going to vote for Lester Holt."

"It's not that hard to tell alligators and crocodiles apart. One will see you after a while, and the other will see you later."

"A good woman is like home WiFi: Full of knowledge. Always there for you. Used by your roommate WHEN YOU'RE NOT THERE THAT'S RIGHT AMY I KNOW"

"I often find myself crying during sex... Probably from the pepper spray..."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney."

"Why did Princess Leia spit and not swallow? Because it was Chewy"

"Superman Joke Your clear history button has saved more lives than Superman"

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's head as it smacks into a car windshield on the highway? Its ass."

"What did the french baker ghost said? BOO! Langerieeee!"

"I'm on hold with West Elm and they're playing a contemporary jazz song with a man saying ""aquarium"" every 4 counts. Hold music is evolving"