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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill a snail? With an as-salt rifle!"

"Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!"

"Came up with this one today How do the Russians invade the Ukraine? They rush in."

"[restaurant] WAITER: And to drink? ME: I'll have a coke and a pepsi. WAITER: Is pep...um...Is cok...ok...Is...I...what.. *waiter spontaneously combusts*"

"Did you hear that Willy Nelson died? He was singing on the road again."

"So my dad posted a picture on Facebook with captioned ""Condom challenge fail"" It was a photo of me."

"What do you call a group of rappers that masturbate in synchronization? Bone Tugs In Harmony"

"If you think grammar isn't important, well, it's."

"sometimes i remember i was part of the nsa hack back in spring / that all my data is currently floating around china and i'm like ""cool"""

"*cocks gun* Me: ""Go ahead."" Horse: ""Just be cool, man."" Me: ""DRINK."" Horse: ""No problem. It's just a stupid expression."""