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Joke of the Day

"Hello, you've reached 1-800-NARCISSIST, how can you help me?"

"Which of these jokes do the pigs like best? The corniest ones."

"What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood? You can't gargle sand."

"A bee is willing to end it's own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness."

"There was a groping incident at work. I apologized but they fired me anyways."

"Why is history called His story? Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias."

"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed The chicken, smoking a cigarette, turns to the egg and says, ""Well, I guess we answered that question."""

"Did you hear about that new restaurant on the moon? It has great food, but it has no atmosphere."

"What do horses eat on the internet? Hayy lmao"

"Old people always poke me at weddings and say ""you're next."" I do the same thing to them at funerals"