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Joke of the Day
"Why is history called His story? Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias."
Next Joke
"As a priest finishes paying for his hotel room, he says to the cashier: ""And can you make sure the porn in my room is disabled?"" Cashier: ""right you are, you filthy bastard!"""
"My Granddad is on a catheter...... It really takes the piss"
"People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible."
"I'm not an alcoholic ... Alcoholic's need a drink, but I already have one"
"So funny how ""go to sleep"" and ""do parkour"" sound exactly the same to kids."
"M: If I cashew looking through my windows agai- H: What? M: I saw you pecan! H: No, I wasn- M: You're macadamian me mad. H: You're nuts."
"My Doctor told me I'm pregnant... I told her she's got to be kid-in-me"
"When people ask how I got the latest movies on my computer.. I respond by telling them my lovely bay with hella booty gives them to me.arggg"
"""I just went on a hike and suddenly I can tell everyone what's right and wrong."" -Moses"