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Joke of the Day

"Old people always poke me at weddings and say ""you're next."" I do the same thing to them at funerals"

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust A guns only weakness is Obama and rust."

"How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be? Use LED based paint."

"Whats the difference between a woman and a feminist? A woman can understand irony and satire without being offended."

"Urban Outfitters is just Spencer Gifts in a fedora."

"What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and Jesus himself? You only need one nail to hang a picture of Jesus."

"I went to read the dictionary, but... My aardvark had the exact same idea before me. He didn't really get far."

"Ever read the book ""A Race To The Bathroom""? by Willie Makeit and Betty Wont."

"My girlfriend told me she likes vaginal sex more than anal sex because it's a lot cleaner No shit"

"Why are barns so noisy? All the cows have horns"