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Joke of the Day

"Not Your Father's Root Beer Me: Hey dad. Is this yours? Dad: No."

"Did you hear about Jon Snow dropping his new Apple product? And now his watch has ended."

"Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It died."

"A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment"

"Am I the only one who gives people in my neighborhood names they don't know they have? a.k.a. ""Running Man"",""Mustang Bob"", ""Blue truck dude"""

"Guys I have to work a total of like 18 hours today. Someone hold me. Under water."

"The Story of the Old, Empty Barn There was nothing in it."

"I try to keep it gangster, so I just walked into the grocery store and shouted ""Scuze me! Could you direct me to the motha fuckin bakery?!"""

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."

"Did you hear about the mechanic who was addicted to brake fluid? He said he could stop at anytime."