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Joke of the Day

"I got caught peeing in the pool the other day The lifeguard yelled at me so loud that I almost fell in."

"They brought the hot dog in for questioning. He gave the... wurst... answers."

"Don't mind me. Just over here shaking my phone like a Magic 8-Ball, trying to get the screen to rotate back."

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"What not to ask a gynecologist when seeking dating advice. What do you look for in a woman?"

"Why do they call a wolf a wolf? Because it goes wolf!"

"This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf."

"What did the black kid get for Christmas? My bike"

"I need a way to keep fit that will make me look like a crazy person so no one will approach me while I do it. -inventor of powerwalking"

"I forgot to take my wallet out of my pants in the washer. I have committed money laundering."