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Joke of the Day

"What not to ask a gynecologist when seeking dating advice. What do you look for in a woman?"

"How many Fat Acceptance Movement activists does it take to change a light bulb? You don't need to change your bulb. Light or heavy, you are beautiful and worthy of acceptance."

"The difference between theory and practice is that in theory George Clooney should have been the best Batman."

"A student walks up to their teacher. Student: ""Teacher, would you ever get mad at me for something I didn't do?"" Teacher: ""Of course not! why?"" Student: ""Because I didn't do my homework"""

"A man walks into a bakery right before closing time And asks, ""do you have any pita?"" The baker responds, ""no, there's naan left."""

"Are you made of berillium, gold and titanium? Because you are BeAuTiful."

"What's a great thing to do in Fresno? Leave."

"Breaking Bad joke (credit to edrubio6) Skyler: Hey, Walt, wanna hear a joke? Walter: Okay. Skyler: Knock kno- Walter: I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"

"I once played golf with a Kiwi The RSPCA showed up the next day."

"I was chatting up this woman. I said, ""You're the sort of woman I could introduce to my mum."" ""Aww,"" she smiled, ""Can you?"" I said, ""Of course, I'll drive us to the cemetery tomorrow."""