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Joke of the Day

"""HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU?! Seriously? You're 10 years old."" ""..."" ""Beer before liquor, never sicker. NEVER. SICKER."""

"What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash? Tele-Scope."

"So scientists have invented a way to turn dolphins nearly invisible It's pretty neat, but I don't really see the porpoise."

"You don't hear about Rowan Atkinson much these days. It's probably because he's a has-*bean*."

"What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc? What's up Doc?' Check for bugs in your system."

"I'm getting a new appreciation for black and white films... I just watched jungle fever and I loved it!!!"

"I tried to eat a clock once... But it was very time consuming"

"I take issue with people stealing magazines."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"Did you hear about the two gay ghosts? They gave each other the willies."