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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two gay ghosts? They gave each other the willies."

"Two reasons I won't give money to homeless people. 1. They're probably just going to buy beer with that money. 2. I'm going to buy beer with that money. Edit: changed for to with."

"Me: I set a record for the rope climb in high school. 4-year-old: You climbed it the fastest? My wife: He cried the most."

"Every year I make a resolution to change myself... this year I am making a resolution to be myself!.....Happy new year 2013"

"Yo mama so poor... She had to get her haircut at Good Clips."

"A Blind man walks into a bar... ...into a table, into a chair.."

"What's worse than a paper titty? A cardboard box"

"The Discovery Channel is filming a new series about my ex-wife. It is called Deadliest Snatch"

"The Water Fight Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids. I won! No one's a match for me and my kettle."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? Migraine relief. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Yell again & they'll never find your body."