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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: It's hum.. [30 min later] Cop: So you stapled his lips?"

"I know she wanted to be cremated, and I know she didn't want a formal funeral... ...But was a ""Family Barbecue"" really the best idea?"

"Why was the mathematician stressed out? He was in a dilemma."

"You gotta wet it first, doesn't work dry. The wetter the better. -whistling you perverts"

"The dyslexic jkoe A dyslexic man walked into a bra"

"Shout out to all the frozen desserts out there. Step to me with a dessert that ain't frozen and I'll snap your damn face off"

"What do you call a mexican midget? A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!"

"""Dad can you write in the dark?"" ""I think so. What is it you want me to write?"" ""Your name on this report card."""

"Top reddit posters should use their karma to help the environment They are already experts at recycling."

"Dear Abby My name is Gloria Mae and I'm from Tennessee. I'm 14 years old and am still a virgin. Is my brother gay?"