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Joke of the Day

"Please do not return empty candy wrappers to the dish. It leads to false expectations and uncontrollable rage."

"Want to hear a short joke and a long joke? Joke, Joooooooke!"

"Shortest joke ever? ""Pretentious? Moi?"""

"Say friends, why is it tough to play poker with cattle farmers? They're always raising the steaks!"

"A smoke detector is a sophisticated device designed to inform you that your smoke alarm is working. But seriously keep your batteries in it people. If you don't you'll die, maybe."

"My towel is now in two pieces, rip. Rip, your parents' condom XD"

"You can tell a lot about a person by what they swallow first when a cop pulls um over."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot..... you racist bastard."

"Where do you see yourself in five years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"Archeologist: someone whose carreer lies in ruins."