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Joke of the Day
"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!"
Next Joke
"*makes Transformer sound effects while I put my makeup on*"
"BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you."
"What's black and red, flashes like hell and annoys men? Live Jasmine"
"Had a discussion with my boss about how lanyards can strangle.... conversation took a turn.... I am either fired or getting a HUGE raise x2"
"What do you call your grandma on speed dial? Instragram!"
"But I meant it as a compliment when I said your baby looks like a pug."
"A woman said to her husband: ""Tie me and I'll let do what you want"" Then, he tied her and slept with the maid"
"You never get a second chance to make a first impression... ...unless you keep a stash of roofies on you at all times."
"Men, what's worse than Satan himself? Satan herself"