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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he's being told where to deliver the ransom money."

"Let's count to 10.000"

"I was masturbating, looked up and saw my mom standing there. I was really freaked out. Because she died 6 years ago."

"Why is the Joker's makeup like a whitewashed tomb, his lips like torn paper, his eyes like burning suns? Because when he was young, the Joker's father said ""Let's put a simile on that face!"""

"If you've met someone a few times but still can't remember their name, one trick is to avoid them for the rest of your life."

"Sometimes I feel so alone, and then I remember I'm a part of the biggest, most reliable 4G network in the country."

"When Russians visit Mexico What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico? Trotsky's Revenge"

"Hey everyone, my mom's following me on Twitter now, so ixnay on all the eetstway about the ugsdray and exsay and acismray. Thanks"

"I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either"

"Q: Why was the chicken happy? A: Everything was eggcellent."