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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Dad, I wanna to go to a 50 cent concert!"" Dad: ""Well here's a dollar, take your sister too."""

"There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl"

"Europe is looking amazing right now. It lost a few pounds recently."

"What do you get when you push a piano down a mining shaft? A flat minor."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""We don't serve mushrooms here!"" So the mushroom says, ""Hey come on, I'm a fungi!"""

"This day needs cyanide."

"How do you get Holy Water? You put water in a pot and boil the HELL out of it."

"A hot dog walks into a bar The bartender says, ""We don't serve sandwiches here."" The hot dog says, ""That's ok. I came for the roast beef."""

"Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart. ""I'll be beethoven!"" Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be? ""I'LL BE BACH."""

"I always use incognito mode when looking at porn and video game walkthroughs. I don't want my wife to think I'm a cheater."