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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I feel so alone, and then I remember I'm a part of the biggest, most reliable 4G network in the country."

"BREAKING: Popeye Expresses Outrage as Pope Goes to Mount Olive"

"What can an elevator do that a black man can't? Raise a family."

"I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me"

"How do you catch a peculiar rabbit? Unique up on it."

"""Do you know how fast you were going?"" 75 in a 55. I'm sorry officer. ""Get out of the car."" *Cop cuddles driver* ""Stop doing this. I worry."""

"""Always give your food a rinse before you eat it,"" my dad always used to say. Lovely man. Made terrible sandwiches."

"What do you call research to implicate dictators of other countries for murders by biological warfare? ...Foreign sick science."

"[OC] How to tell if you're gay... If when you fap, you like the feeling because there's a dick in your hand, rather than liking it because there's a hand around your dick - You're gay."

"What did Salt 'N' Pepa say to the nosey chemist? ""It's none of your Bismuth!"" Sorry."