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Joke of the Day

"I just got scammed by a hacker from Cairo... I guess you could say I've been E-gipped."

"[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish."

"How do blonde braincells die? Alone. "

"Lost my watch at a party... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl. ^not ^^on ^^^my ^^^^watch."

"That incessant, monotonous football is really ruining my enjoyment of the vuvuzelas."

"If you want to know what a girl will look like in 30 years, stop talking to her and show up to her house in 30 years to check on her."

"*Farmer walks into job application Farmer: I barely speak English, and my village doesn't have a computer. Employer: BOOM! Tech support!"

"How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh I don't think that's possible. Oh yes it is - I'm nine today."

"""Ahmed, you're parking too far away from the sidewalk."" ""Who cares, its gonna explode anyways."""

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"